Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
