it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
