I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
