Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
