i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
