discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize