My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
