C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
