stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize