I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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