So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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