I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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