I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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