you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
