If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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