he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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