The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
