if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have aggressive nipples.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
