Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
