I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize