I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
