When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my being single is dangerous.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
