spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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