when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
