I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the raccoons are back...
Randomize