I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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