dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
