The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
