ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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