Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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