plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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