The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
