I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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