Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
