That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
worst night to have a conscience
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
