"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you never un-have a 4some
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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