someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
