weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
