we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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