Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize