Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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