scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize