I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize