Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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