I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
