There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
