according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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