Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
