I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
