if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
