Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize