She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
