I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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