he was CRYING into my vagina
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
