They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
