ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
