there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
