I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
