she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
