whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
