YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
