i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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