I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
