Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
