I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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