if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
