are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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