there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
