Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
