i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
