I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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