just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize