Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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