alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
