He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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